Picture of the week

This may be one of the last vestiges of the Harrison that was.  I almost missed getting this picture, I didn't think this would be the first building they would take down.  It's probably my favorite train-side graffito.  "False" is an omnipresent artist, we see his (and why do I assume it is a he???) signature up and down the Northeast Corridor tracks in NJ.  But this time it's different, and likely one of his older works (I'm guessing).  The thing I like about it is the "R" at the end, which is actually a dancer, or perhaps a street dude wielding nunchucks.  Unfortunately, the topmost part of the dancer is already gone in this picture, taken yesterday morning.  Arms formed the top of the "R"; ok, maybe arms with nunchucks, I can get behind that interpretation, with a ball in the center representing his head.

And why, you ask, is the building coming down?  So they can make space for the new multi-million dollar PATH station which is going to bring new life or something to the blighted former industrial town.  A new station which, by the way, noone can afford to build, the town is pretty much bankrupt, but it's going to get built anyhow.  Part of the renovation of the entire rust belt town, which began with Red Bull Stadium and will end who knows where.

So then we will have another overpriced bedroom community attached to NYC.

When I was a kid growing up in this area, people used to make things in Harrison.   No more.  Now they sleep there.  If they are able to sleep.

My elementary school is a few blocks from this former factory.  The Annie bridge is a few more blocks away.  I used to take the PATH to college.  Now I try not to take the PATH, it's kind of like standing in a sardine can.

 Progress.  Bah, humbug.

Reflecting on where I've been since 1976

I just reread my posting about having visited Pace's downtown campus, and can't help but consider the long and sometimes arduous road I've traveled since I left there in 1976.  I certainly can't say it hasn't been interesting.  And I don't need or want to go into great detail here.  But....wow.  There were days (weeks, months, years) when I didn't think I would make it.  And in spite of everything, while I wouldn't say I triumphed, I can state that I have survived a lot of stuff I didn't think at the time was survivable, and here I am, pretty much still intact.  The psychic bruises are finally fading a bit, and some of the memories of the better times are coming back, after years of being locked behind some kind of door in my brain.

That is a very fascinating process, the one where the memories of pretty much everything having to do with a traumatic time get locked away so you just don't remember them, and those months or years feel like a huge blank space in your head.  Then, when time and distance work their magic, little snippets of the past come leaking out, like melting ice seeping under that door, and then you realize the memories are still in there somewhere, just hidden.  If things seem to be ok, little pieces of memory pop back up into the active category, usually triggered by association with something you are currently doing or saying or in my case especially, smelling and hearing.  I get a lot of things triggered by smells and sounds. 

There are also some things that I don't like but can't figure out why, particularly sounds.  For example, I can't stand the sound of car tires crunching on gravel.  There must be some unpleasant association for me, but I have no idea what it might be.  Another thing I can't stand is the smell of beef being grilled.  Burgers, steaks, anything beef-based, the smell makes me nauseous.  I do eat beef, occasionally but not often, and it's ok, it's not that I don't like the taste, I just can't bear the smell. 

Go figure.